What is it people are always saying...good things come to those who wait? I would have to consider this post a very, very good thing. I hope you find some truth, comfort, and/or perspective in my husband's words. He is always teaching me new things and I am so proud of him for being willing to share his heart with you all. He stepped far out of his comfort zone to put this together, and further proved my theory that anytime you step outside your comfort zone, wonderful things happen.
Thank-you for waiting & as always, thank-you for reading!
Love, Hannah
P.S.
It only seemed fair to add this little gem in...since Trav is writing on the blog now, why not also share a photo from 2007, of him dancing in a foreign country? (insert evil yet loving laughter here) :-)
Hannah asked me to prepare something for the blog back when she first started it in February. She even gave me the subject for the post, to share my personal journey through our decision to adopt, and gave me a deadline of May. But per usual, being the true procrastinator that I am, I dragged my feet and never started working on it. The “non-threatening” stares and reminders from Hannah over the last few weeks of April didn’t seem to prod me along any faster either. With only a few weeks till my “deadline," I still had no idea what to write. Then on a late afternoon I was listening to an old album of a band I liked from college and heard a song that resonated with me. This seems fitting as music has always played a pivotal part in my life.
The song talks about a promise and a dream. Not a dream or promise for who I want to be, but who God intends for me to be. A dream beyond anything that I can imagine for myself. The kind of dream that is not easily explained, but you know with all your heart that it's true. This dream first came to me my freshman year of college. As part of the freshman World Changers class there was an assignment where I had to complete a “wedge” diagram. I don’t remember all of the details, but the premise was I had to identify what I wanted to be known for when I grew up (i.e. legacy) and what things in my life would be a wedge and keep me from accomplishing those goals. I said that I wanted to be like my dad. I wanted to be a man of God. I wanted to be viewed as a leader in the church. I wanted to be a Godly husband. I wanted to be a father. That being said, I was in no shape or form ready to be a father. I was just a young 17 year old kid who hadn’t even really discovered who he was as an individual yet. The dream I had for myself was just that, a dream. It was something that I hoped would be true someday when I was old.
Fast forward to graduation, I was leaving IWU with a great job, an apartment in Indy, a beautiful fiance, and not a care in the world. Even though I officially had some real responsibility for the first time (i.e. job, rent, bills, etc.) in my life, I was still just a big kid. Hannah and I got married shortly after and everything was perfect. As I’m sure is the case with most couples, Hannah (the wife) was the first to get excited about the possibilities of starting our family. I on the other hand was still enjoying the honeymoon lifestyle and had minimal desire to change that anytime soon. I still viewed myself as a college kid and convinced myself that I was way too young to be a parent. It wasn’t until some of our friends and family started having kids and I interacted with their children did I begin to realize how excited I was to be a dad.
Now I’m going to play the cliche Bible verse card. Not that any Bible verse should ever truly be a cliche, because all scripture has a purpose and is inspired by God (Isaiah 55:9-11). But we all know the verses I’m talking about.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” - Jeremiah 29:11
A beautiful verse. Full of promise and hope. Yet we always seem to forget that this verse is plucked from a series of verses filled with turmoil, pain, and despair. The start of Chapter 29 opens with a statement that Jeremiah’s letter was sent to the “surviving” exiles in Babylon (v1). It continues by stating that everyone there should settle down, because they’re going to be there a long time (v4-7). It’s not until v11 that Jeremiah offers any real sense of hope to the people. And even then it’s just a glimpse of what is ahead. There is still more work to be done.
“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.”
- Jeremiah 29:12-14
It truly is a beautiful process if you think about it. He’s telling them to find contentment in their heartache. He’s telling them they’re exactly where He wants them to be. Stop kicking and screaming for just one second and listen to what I have for you! It can be hard for us to come to terms with the fact that v11 is true 100% of the time. That’s 100% percent of the time! Meaning the good and the bad. That means He has a plan for us in our time of exile just as much. That doesn’t make exile any easier though. What it can do though is provide much needed perspective to a situation.
As it relates to our adoption, Hannah and I have finally started coming around to this notion. We both know that God has a plan for our family and through a lot of prayer and tears have come to recognize His desire for us to enjoy our time in “exile”. Not just to be content with not being parents, but to truly thrive as “non-parents”. This new thought process has laid the groundwork for both of us to change jobs, more involvement in high-school life groups (small groups), and seeking more community involvement as a whole. We are confident that as we continue to seek Him, we will always be exactly where He intends us to be and the dream of parenthood will always be around the next curve in the road.
Kids In The Way - ‘This Could Be The Song That Will Change Your Heart’
There's a burning in my heart everyday
I come to you, I look to you and say
When will I become everything
That you've intended me to be
I'm beating at my chest everyday
I run to you, I come to you and say
When will I become everything
That you've intended me to be
And I am so tired, I am so beaten
From walking down this road of shattered dreams
But I am so lonely, but I am so broken
And won't you come, won't you rescue me?
Won't you rescue me?
I am so tired, I am so tired
I am so tired, I am so tired
I am so tired, I am so beaten
From walking down this road of shattered dreams
I am so lonely, I am so broken
And won't you come to rescue me?
I'll be the light inside of you
And won't let go of you
(Come rescue me?)
I'll be the light inside of you
And won't let go of you
(Won't you come? Won't you come?)
I'm calling out your name
I'm calling out your name
I'm calling out your name
I'm calling out your name
I am so tired, I am so broken
And won't you come? Won't you come?
I am so lonely, I am so broken
Won't you come? Won't you come?
Won't you come?
Won't you come and rescue me?
I come to you, I look to you and smile
I'll be the light inside of you
And won't let go of you
I'll be the light inside of you
And won't let go of you
