What's Under the Snow...

Welcome to Life in the Trees and thank-you for stopping by. If you’re new here, check out the About Hannah page to learn more about me & the blog!

The last couple weeks I have had a lot of floating thoughts in my head for my next post. I’ve had about 37 different ideas and topics I want to write about, but not sure what I should post. I have a few adoption updates I’d like to share. I have some cool stories from living life with high school girls. And there’s always the dear old past to reflect on. But here’s something you can always count on at Life in the Trees: If I’m not sure, I won’t post it.

This past week I kept feeling nudged back to a topic I really didn’t feel like writing about, but here I am. I love that God always has a way of directing me back where He wants me to be...I confess that sometimes I do walk slowly.

Comparenvy: to compare your circumstances to others and envy them as a result.

She has the greatest hair. I wish I had a car like his. How does she stay so skinny? Why does everything seem to fall in place for them? If I had that much money, I’d do more with it. They got pregnant on accident? If only the boys liked me as much as they did her.

You get the idea.

I have been operating under the illusion that If I simply focused on God’s blessings in my life (because seriously, there are tons) I would ward off the ugliness of envy in my heart.

I am here today to say- THIS DOES NOT WORK.

Last week, there was loads of beautiful, white snow on the ground. I enjoyed stomping around the snow with Kappie- it was cold, but it was beautiful and it was fun. 

Today, a week later most of the snow is melted. The sun is gorgeous and it’s a bit warmer, but you know what- the ground underneath all that beautiful snow is hard, cold & ugly. Spring hasn't really come yet.

Because only God can bring the spring. Only God can make that ground warm and beautiful again. The snow was covering the cold earth, but melt that away and what do you have still? Cold earth. It takes time to warm the ground. It takes God’s touch to make it alive and green and healthy again.

I think focusing on my blessings is the same as that beautiful, white snow. There’s nothing wrong with it. Travis’ new job, adoption progress, our awesome home, incredible friendships- those are all beautiful, white-snow things. Focusing on them is good. But (you knew it was coming)- focusing on good things from God should not replace focusing on God.

One more time.

Focusing on good things from God should not replace focusing on God.

Yes, praise God for the amazing things He is doing in my life. Yes, I will worship Him and praise Him for these blessings.

Does that mean I wouldn't worship Him otherwise?

Is He not GOD- Infinitely great, Creator of the universe, Author of my soul?

If you've never read Crazy Love by Francis Chan, or seen his video called the “The Awe Factor of God” Click Here to check it out. It’s worth the three minutes for a quick reminder on how HUGELY amazing our God is.

This past week God has been nudging me to remember this. He has beckoned me to come and worship Him, just because. No other reason other than He is God. Worthy of awe. Worthy of Worship.

About a week and a half ago-ish some old friends of ours announced their pregnancy. These aren’t people that live around us or that we really keep in touch with. Travis and I were sitting in the living room fiddling on social media (of course) and I said, oh look, they’re pregnant. Travis was like, cool, that’s awesome. And then I said it.

I comparenvied.

It must be so nice to just have everything work out perfectly just the way you hoped it always would.

Comparenvy.

Ugly.

Ouch.

Yuck.

Bitter.

Travis’ response was perfect. He Called. Me. Out. Lovingly, of course. But I am so thankful now for this moment because it’s the first time in a realllllly long time that I acknowledged some of the bitterness in my heart. I have spent the last couple weeks processing this and it led me to this blog post. It made me realize I was piling up white, pretty snow in my heart and on the outside. I was focusing on the blessings. I was praising God for the work He’s doing. I was focusing on the joy and happy things. This is all good. Except...

I wasn't telling Him my hurts.

I wasn't worshiping Him just for being Him.

I wasn't surrendering my bitterness.

I was burying it under snow.

But the sun came early in my heart. The snow melted and underneath I discovered cold, hard earth that needed God’s touch.

Blessings are wonderful. They come from God.  But only God can create sustaining joy in our hearts.  

Truth.

Here is a prayer I deeply admire from 1 Samuel 2. I am sure many of you are familiar with the story of Hannah, coincidentally my namesake. Here’s what I love about her life and her prayer: 

1. She was having a super hard time. The Bible says she was bitter. She probably had the worst case of “comparenvy” ever since one of her husband’s wives was constantly taunting her for being barren whilst having lots of sons herself. But she poured out her heart to God. She let Him see her bitterness. She kept praying.

2. She got what she wanted! What’s her response? This prayer below. Note that it’s mostly all about God. She worships who He is. 

3. She gave up her blessing. This still amazes me. I cannot even imagine trying to get pregnant for so long, and then to faithfully give that child back to God.

Then Hannah prayed and said:

“My heart rejoices in the Lord;

   in the Lord my horn is lifted high.

My mouth boasts over my enemies,

   for I delight in your deliverance.

2 “There is no one holy like the Lord;

   there is no one besides you;

   there is no Rock like our God.

3 “Do not keep talking so proudly

   or let your mouth speak such arrogance,

for the Lord is a God who knows,

   and by him deeds are weighed.

4 “The bows of the warriors are broken,

   but those who stumbled are armed with strength.

5 Those who were full hire themselves out for food,

   but those who were hungry are hungry no more.

She who was barren has borne seven children,

   but she who has had many sons pines away.

6 “The Lord brings death and makes alive;

   he brings down to the grave and raises up.

7 The Lord sends poverty and wealth;

   he humbles and he exalts.

8 He raises the poor from the dust

   and lifts the needy from the ash heap;

he seats them with princes

   and has them inherit a throne of honor.

“For the foundations of the earth are the Lord’s;

   on them he has set the world.

9 He will guard the feet of his faithful servants,

   but the wicked will be silenced in the place of darkness.

“It is not by strength that one prevails;

10     those who oppose the Lord will be broken.

The Most High will thunder from heaven;

   the Lord will judge the ends of the earth.

“He will give strength to his king

   and exalt the horn of his anointed.”

It is so hard not to fall into the trap of Comparenvy, but ultimately, that path just steals our joy. We lose sight of the blessings in our own lives when we focus on the blessings of others. Most importantly, we forget that we always, always, always, always have a reason to worship.

It is what we were made to do!

Thanks for reading,

Hannah

P.S. THANK-YOU to those who have selflessly gave toward our adoption and to those who have been praying so fiercely! FUN updates ahead on the blog including a series on creating a profile book, thoughts on the adoption reference process & money updates! Until then, here's something adorable for your viewing pleasure. (hint: Uncle VaVa= Travis)